Bullying - Story 3

Hi, I have taken your address from my Home Educating message board. Apparently you requested comments/information relating to links between bullying and home education.

I would like to make yourselves aware of my daughter's plight.

*A* started senior school in September, she was really excited to move up to Cl School, her excitement soon dwindled.

*A* started to report incidents of older girls starting on her, of teachers belittling her and of a boy pestering her. We reported her complaints and were told she was attention seeking and should stay away from the older girls.

*A* began to act up at home; in all honesty she was a nightmare, we pressured the school, something was wrong, *A* had 2 bags destroyed by bullies. Again we were told that she had to learn to stay away from the older girls and that she should really learn to hold her tongue and not argue, especially with the teachers.

*A* had numerous detentions for her attitude issues and for apparently bullying a boy in her year. We questioned these detentions and were told *A* had serious confrontational issues.

Christmas came and home life was lovely. *A* is one of 4 and we all had had to walk on egg shells around her, the school holidays gave us our happy carefree daughter again.

*A* returned to school on Jan 04/05; that night *A* was foul.When she calmed down she divulged that the boy she had complained about previously had been 'touching' her, that the older girls had been pushing her around the corridor and that she had had a pizza thrown at her in the dinner hall.

We insisted she make an official complaint the next morning (about the boy in particular) and that I would follow it up with the school myself. *A* made her complaint at 09.00 05/01/05. I chased up the complaint at 12.30; no investigation had been started. It later came to light that the boy had attempted a very intimate attack upon *A* that day.

That night *A* was quiet and withdrawn, the next day she asked to stay home, we said no. That day in school *A* was pushed and thumped in the playground by the older girls, one punch took place in front of *A*'s year head, *A* was reprimanded for arguing with the girls. Later that day in the year hall in front of the entire year and the year head *A* had a bottle of coke poured over her and the bottle thrown at her face, she shouted at the group responsible and the boy who had 'allegedly' been touching her started to joke about it, *A* attacked him and was pulled off, apparently she was in a hysterical state (*A*'s friends reported this to me) and the year head shouted at her that she had had enough of her excuses she was going to get *A* excluded.

That night *A* was hyper, over anxious and very bolshy.

The next morning she was hysterical begging not to be sent to school, I kept her home and called the school to discover what could be distressing her so much, the investigation into the boy and the 'alleged touching' was completed with nothing to report, the older girls had been advised to stay away from *A*, so the school had nothing to say. As far as they were concerned the matters had been dealt with and there were no concerns.

As *A* was so distressed I insisted she write everything down that she considered a problem at school, the list was 3 sides of A4, as I read I became extremely concerned, the allegations of touching actually involved the boy getting his hand inside my daughter's blouse and continued sexual harrasment which *A* insisted she had reported to several teachers. I called the school and insisted upon a full investigation taking place, into the boy and the teachers. As my husband and I discussed *A* list we decided to involve the police. *A* divulged far more serious allegations during her video statement, actual attempted intimate intrusions had taken place. *A* insisted that she had made reports on several occaisions to her teachers.

As soon as we informed the school of the police's involvement and of *A*'s video staement they closed ranks, no member of staff would talk to us, our local MP offered to sit in on a round table meeting with us and the Head, the school declined. The LEA were of no use whatsoever as the school is a Foundation school and as the Chair of the Governors pointed out to me 'they are answerable to nobody'.

The police investigation is concluded, the boy admitted part of the allegations, his life/family is now under the close scrutiny of SS. The case did not get to court as the boy is now receiving the support which would have been advised by the courts.

The school investigation is still ongoing (05/01/05 to 06/06/05 quite a long investigation) one teacher has admitted to moving *A* for her protection, away from the boy, one has admitted that he had made a mental note of her complaint, yet the year head who had punished *A* several times for her 'bullying' of the boy has said that she was not aware of any problems between them, and even suggested that if *A* had indeed carried out as many punishments as she was claiming to have done then her behaviour would have to investigated upon her return to the school.

Four of *A*'s classmates have verified *A*'s allegations of sexual harrasment and of one assault, these are the children that we know have been questioned, we do not know how many have been questioned as the investigation is still ongoing, we have requested several times for meetings with the Head Teacher, he has declined.

We scoured the internet for advice in these cases and discovered information regarding Home Education, as *A* was progressing so well at home and had returned to being our vivacious bubbly normal 12 year old, we gave her the choice for her education, she chose HE, we deregistered her and are happily learning at home.

The school deny any issues of bullying, they do not have a bullying problem despite having 1600 pupils.

*A* is thriving, her academic work has improved ten fold, she wants to learn, she is eager to work which never happened in her 4 months at senior school.