Bullying - Story 13

My son's problems started when he was around seven year's old. He was being bullied...nothing nasty at this time, but being pushed around, name calling, tripped up when walking by. He was different. His teacher didn't believe he was being bullied and nothing was done. He was always getting into trouble, attempting to run away from school to escape the bullies (still the school didn't believe him; just took his shoes away so that he couldn't run away).

Around eight year's old, I ended up seeing the head teacher who proved to be lovely. Things had gotten so bad for C that he had informed me he intended to throw himself under a bus because no-one liked him, no-one believed him and he couldn't see this changing.

Things changed for the better until the end of that school year and he had a new class teacher. Problems began again and this time we found that it was C doing the bullying. After all he had been through, we were devastated that he should be doing the same thing. However, when we talked to him, we discovered that the bullying that had been stopped the previous year had begun again, and rather than upset everyone again, C took things into his own hands. He was hitting them before they hit him. By far from a desirable solution, but understandable.

After more chats with him and the head teacher, she assured him that things would be watched but that he shouldn't do the 'first strike' because then she was not in a position to help him. He accepted this and stopped.

However, the bullying he was suffering began again and nothing was done about it. There was a new head teacher at the school who did not believe the educational psychologist or C's doctor. C had been diagnosed with AS and Dyslexia. He was one who thought that 'C was just a lazy child'. He insisted that C was still the bully even though I had seen some of C's suffering first hand with unprovoked attacks on him.

We pulled C out of school, prepared to go to jail if necessary. We were unaware that home education was legal at the time but we knew we couldn't see our son carry on as he was. After discussing things with the LEA, they found C a place in another junior school where the school's remit was to 'make C comfortable with school again' in preparation for secondary school. He also had a classroom assistant to help with reading to overcome some of the problems caused by the AS and dyslexia.

Things worked very well for that year and C duly started secondary school. Unfortunately, the small gang of lads from his ex junior school also moved up to the same secondary school and the problems multiplied, along with the number of gang members where they met other young hooligans.

Emotive language...but accurate I feel. C suffered more and more bullying, coming home crying almost every night. These children learnt what buttons to press to cause C to 'explode'. They always pressed the buttons when the teachers and the classroom assistant assigned to C weren't looking and therefore C was again being accused of causing the incidents and provoking them. We kept a diary of everything C said when he came home from school which made frightening reading. We informed the school that the bullying was going on and were told that, as C had a full time assistant with him, the bullying could not be happening.

C did not get on with his assistant; she had no knowledge of AS at all and obviously had little respect for children in general. C had to spend his lunch breaks with her...while she chatted to her dinner lady friends. She held on to him by the arm so that he couldn't wander off and physically dragged him around wherever she wanted to go. He knew she was leaving because he had to stand and listen to her discussing her new job with the dinner ladies. However, she informed the school that it was C's fault; she made no mention to the school of her new job at a higher salary!

At this time we were told that C would have to sink or swim without an assistant. He was apparently 'too difficult to handle' and that a specialist assistant was needed to look after him and they were too expensive.

The bullying got worse. C was coming home with bruises and headaches from being hit and having his head slapped. The teachers had labelled C and were ignoring anything that was said or done. They removed C from the classroom as it was easier than acknowledging the problem and removing four or five other lads.

The final straw for us was when I was called into the school. C had, according to the school, been the victim of an accident. We failed to see how a badminton pole being used as a javelin in the school gym and ending up with the point through C's leg could be considered an accident. As we left the school for A&E, C started crying harder. When asked why, the lined up class who were waiting to be interviewed by the Head of Year was told by one of his bullies that 'It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person'.

C was home educated then for several years and, at age 15 and extremely bright at physics and maths, was attending the local college to start A levels in these subjects. We were paying £1,500 for this privilege as he was under 16.

I'm sure people reading this can imagine my disgust, horror and sheer rage when we find that one of the bullies who was part of the gang constantly attacking C previously was also attending the college. He had finally been excluded from school for...bullying! No other school would accept him with his violent record! And he wasn't having to pay extra to get what he wanted out of the education system...he received it due to his violent nature. No wonder the school system is failing; when children are punished for being a victim and rewarded for being the bully.